Do you get irritated when.....

I'm with celestino ...the older I get, the less I am concerned with the actions of others that do not impact me.

There was a time in my life when little things bothered. I was easily angered by the actions of others that I perceived to be an affront to my personal sensibilities. As I've grown, I've come to realize that it is actually rare to encounter someone that is truly rude for the sake of rudeness alone, or is so arrogant and self-absorbed that rudeness just oozes from their personality. Certainly, those people exist, but as I have encountered more people that were only perceived as rude due to mitigating circumstances easily observed, I have learned to give the benefit of the doubt more often than not.

These days, my main goal in life is to raise my daughter to be respectful to everyone. I try very hard to instill in her 3 main concepts:

1-You cannot control what other people do, only how you respond to it

2-Everybody in this world is dealing with a problem you know nothing about, right now. Be kind.

3-Don't let anyone take advantage of you. Be kind, but be strong. You are not better than anyone else, but nobody is better than you either. You can be strong and assertive without being mean.

For me...I try to look past the way a person presents themselves physically, and focus on the way they present themselves in character. Respect given is respect earned, even if you look like you've spent the last 4 days sleeping in a ditch. There are some really decent people that find themselves in very difficult situations, and judging them for that, rather than the content of their character, is unfair, in my opinion. I've seen hard times, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone judging me for my struggles...

Chris, I was so impressed by this.  I wish I could say that I live my life by your thoughts here but the best I can offer is that I try but don't always succeed.  I am never happy when I don't but just attempt to do better the next time.  I find that certain unimportant things get under my skin.  I do my best to get over them without a negative action on my part.  That, invariably, works in my favor.  When I mess up, I try to learn and move on.  I guess it's called life.

As for the back and forth on the beard, where would Santa Claus be without his?  Besides, it was your incredible beard and moustache, as well as your help and encouragement, that got me to attempt my current look of a waxed handlebar moustache.  I am always pleasantly surprised when a perfect stranger, either male or female, walks by and compliments me on it.  If anyone doesn't like it or thinks it looks silly, he or she has never been rude enough to say so.  Therefore, as far as I know, everyone likes it and that works for me.

At the end of the day, it has pretty clearly been stated here by several individuals, that men with facial hair are lazy, slovenly, sloppy, unhygienic, fools, unkempt and rude.

These are words variably used throughout this topic to describe men with facial hair, more specifically men who leave the house without shaving.

I have quite a lot of facial hair. I have left my house without shaving every day for the last 20 years and change.

It is pretty clear to me that the individuals making these statements have little or no respect for me because of my facial hair.

As for actions...please... I invite anyone that would like to back up their rude opinion of me with actions. Hiding behind fake pictures and pseudonyms gives protection. But if these people see me on the street they will politely nod until I am out of earshot and then discuss with their walking partner how I am unhygienic, lazy, sloppy, slovenly, and foolish, and they will wait until I am gone not out of respect for me, but out of the knowledge that should they say these things to me directly, it will not be a pleasant conversation due entirely to the rude and self-important nature of their opinions.

I don't care if someone likes my facial hair. I didn't grow it for anyone but myself. However, I will not sit idly by and let ignorance of facial hair pervade a conversation without speaking up.

And just for the record, typing your judgements and assumptions about others in a public forum is an action. An action informed by an opinion. An opinion based on ignorance and spoken out of arrogance and rudeness.

It's simple: I'm bearded. If you won't say these things about me to me in a face to face conversation, you should hold your tongue when you are protected by the Internet. If you won't say it face to face you shouldn't say it here.


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Let me add that I am not directing this at Primotenore specifically, rather in general to those that would express rude judgements of others behind the mask of an internet persona.


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I'm with celestino ...the older I get, the less I am concerned with the actions of others that do not impact me.

There was a time in my life when little things bothered. I was easily angered by the actions of others that I perceived to be an affront to my personal sensibilities. As I've grown, I've come to realize that it is actually rare to encounter someone that is truly rude for the sake of rudeness alone, or is so arrogant and self-absorbed that rudeness just oozes from their personality. Certainly, those people exist, but as I have encountered more people that were only perceived as rude due to mitigating circumstances easily observed, I have learned to give the benefit of the doubt more often than not.

These days, my main goal in life is to raise my daughter to be respectful to everyone. I try very hard to instill in her 3 main concepts:

1-You cannot control what other people do, only how you respond to it

2-Everybody in this world is dealing with a problem you know nothing about, right now. Be kind.

3-Don't let anyone take advantage of you. Be kind, but be strong. You are not better than anyone else, but nobody is better than you either. You can be strong and assertive without being mean.

For me...I try to look past the way a person presents themselves physically, and focus on the way they present themselves in character. Respect given is respect earned, even if you look like you've spent the last 4 days sleeping in a ditch. There are some really decent people that find themselves in very difficult situations, and judging them for that, rather than the content of their character, is unfair, in my opinion. I've seen hard times, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone judging me for my struggles...

Chris, I was so impressed by this.  I wish I could say that I live my life by your thoughts here but the best I can offer is that I try but don't always succeed.  I am never happy when I don't but just attempt to do better the next time.  I find that certain unimportant things get under my skin.  I do my best to get over them without a negative action on my part.  That, invariably, works in my favor.  When I mess up, I try to learn and move on.  I guess it's called life.

As for the back and forth on the beard, where would Santa Claus be without his?  Besides, it was your incredible beard and moustache, as well as your help and encouragement, that got me to attempt my current look of a waxed handlebar moustache.  I am always pleasantly surprised when a perfect stranger, either male or female, walks by and compliments me on it.  If anyone doesn't like it or thinks it looks silly, he or she has never been rude enough to say so.  Therefore, as far as I know, everyone likes it and that works for me.

Thank you Freddie. That was my point. It seems that I didn't elucidate it as well as you.

Did I miss something?? When did anyone imply that men with facial hair were rude?

The initial post referred to unshaven men as both fools and slobs.

Post number 7 indicated the lack of hygiene was due to a lack of consideration for other people.

I have tried to maintain respect and an open concept that these are merely the opinions of others, but I will be frank...it is quite bothersome that individuals feel it is perfectly acceptable to blanketly insult other people, especially other members here, based on a personally preconceived concept of grooming.

I am insulted by the idea that men who leave the house without shaving their face are just assumed to be sloppy, slovenly, unhygienic, lazy, and "inconsiderate"(rather than rude). I have respect for the individuals making these statements, but it is currently unclear whether that same respect is returned to me. Consider that I am unshaven, I wear my beard, and I leave my house every morning without shaving my face. Explicitly, these opinions include me, as I fit the description to perfection.

The fact that these ideas are easily spoken here, yet never uttered in person, does not make it easier to swallow. Quite the opposite, in fact, it leaves an even more bitter taste in my mouth.

In the vein of full disclosure, this is precisely the conversation that resulted in my being banned from B&B. Different words, and presumably different individuals, but the same concepts being easily thrown about without any consideration for who might be reading them...

If I am coming across as angry, you can rest assured it is directly the result of being angered by these insults.

Let me add that I am not directing this at Primotenore specifically, rather in general to those that would express rude judgements of others behind the mask of an internet persona.


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I appreciate that. I happen to like your beard. I like mine too, but don't ask my wife her opinion...

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In the vein of full disclosure, this is precisely the conversation that resulted in my being banned from B&B. Different words, and presumably different individuals, but the same concepts being easily thrown about without any consideration for who might be reading them...

If I am coming across as angry, you can rest assured it is directly the result of being angered by these insults.

You aren't alone in that opinion. Elitism and snobbery aren't exclusive to either forum. In fact, it's becoming more prominent here.

BadDad, I think the OP was referring more to the ungroomed stubble look than anything else. He said either grow a beard Grizzly Adams style or shave. I kind of agree that the ungroomed stubble look comes across as lazy (or they despise shaving, like many of us have before). You know, when they don't even take the time to trim the cheeks or shave the neck area. That doesn't mean I'm passing judgement on one's personality. I would also argue that having a beard like yours takes more effort and time to keep groomed than shaving it off every day. That is definitely not lazy or slovenly or any of those other adjectives you threw out there.

Thank you Freddie. That was my point. It seems that I didn't elucidate it as well as you.

I have been perusing internet forums for a tremendously wide variety of hobbies since the inception of the Internet Bulletin Board.

The single most important piece of experience I have gained is this:

If you would not say it face to face, you should not say it on the internet.

I conduct myself with this idea in mind on this forum, and every other public venue I participate in on the internet. I simply do not say something behind a pseudonym and fake photo that I would not be willing to say in direct conversation.

That doesn't mean I have to hold my tongue and swallow my pride to participate on the internet, it simply means that the respect I show strangers on the street is offered to strangers on the forums I frequent.

I am not bothered by that which is not spoken. It's a waste of time. Another person's opinion of me, kept to themselves, has no bearing nor impact on the way I live my life.

I think it bears mentioning that saying something on this forum is the same as saying something in conversation. Insulting large groups of individuals based on personal assumptions should be frowned upon here, on this forum, the same way it would be in the local coffee shop...

BadDad, I think the OP was referring more to the ungroomed stubble look than anything else. He said either grow a beard Grizzly Adams style or shave. I kind of agree that the ungroomed stubble look comes across as lazy (or they despise shaving, like many of us have before). You know, when they don't even take the time to trim the cheeks or shave the neck area. That doesn't mean I'm passing judgement on one's personality. I would also argue that having a beard like yours takes more effort and time to keep groomed than shaving it off every day. That is definitely not lazy or slovenly or any of those other adjectives you threw out there.

That may be true, but it was not stated. What was stated is that men who leave the house unshaved are assumed to be lazy, inconsiderate slobs.

My point being that these types of insults to large groups of individuals should be frowned upon here. I do not want more rules implemented to restrict the discussions here. Rather, I want individuals to be aware of the words they are choosing to use, and to be more respectful of ALL the members here...